Parenting

This week, we learned about parenting. Yeah. This is a tough topic that so many people have so many different opinions on. I know this because I was in a parenting class in my last semester, and even just having this as a topic that was brought up for two days, there were many differences. The parenting class that I had last semester was absolutely amazing, and I loved the professor and the concepts that were taught. In the class that I am in now, I can’t say that I agree with some of the things that were taught. In fact, I can’t. I don’t agree with anything that was taught in my current class concerning the topic of parenting. I felt like the role of the mother in the home was very belittled, and that everything that happens in the life of two parents working together falls on the influence of the father. Yes, the father is a very influential figure in the home, but so is the mother. I was not impressed with the way the information was taught, and it rubbed me the wrong way.

In my parenting class that I had last semester, the information that was taught didn’t focus on techniques on how to get your child to behave completely through a long event, or get through the day without a temper tantrum, or even successfully getting them up and ready for the day. No, the class that I had last semester focused on how parents work together, and that they are equal partners in everything that they do. Even though this idea was part of the semester, the biggest point that had a very intense focus on, was on the parent’s way of being. We focused on the book called “The Anatomy of Peace”, and we really drilled into having a heart of peace, and not a heart of war.

When you are raising your child, if you just focus on only providing for them, but you don’t set a good example for them, then you are automatically already doing more harm than you are good. 

Let us look at an example. If a mother has been with her child all day and she is ready for her husband to get home, so that she can take a little break before cooking dinner. Let’s say that he comes home, and it appears that he has had a hard day. You ask the normal questions such as “how was work?” or “how has your day been sweetheart?” and he just grumbles under his breath, she probably will change the topic. If she asks him to watch over their child but that simple request to help her out pushes him over the edge, he is going to get angry, and might even start to yell. Because one or both of these parents have a heart of war, they can’t be effective parents to their child.

I agree with my professor that I had from my previous semester, because if we as parents aren’t functioning as adults who can control our emotions, then how are we supposed to raise children who we want to be effective in the world? The solution is simple. We can’t. If we don’t have a heart of peace toward our children, and even for our spouse at that matter, then we won’t be able to have a healthy marriage, and we won’t be able to have a healthy relationship with our children.

My thoughts probably seemed scattered, but that was all that was going through my head in about 600 words or so. To recap, both husband and wife are absolutely crucial for the parenting of children. One is not better than the other, and there is not one parent who can do a better job “statistically” speaking than the other. It takes two people to create a child, just the same as it takes two people to raise a child.