Today in society, the outlook on the importance of fathers is very frowned upon. You hear lots of topics concerning the role fathers play, and you also probably hear a lot of people say that the father is redundant in the home, and the mother is completely capable of doing everything. Yeah, they are partly right. They are right in the sense that a mother can raise a child working full time, but what is she sacrificing when it comes to the attachment she has with her child? Is her child having a strong and secure attachment with her? Is a child going to be better off when they only have one parent, or are they going to do better if they have 2 parents? I think you see where I am going with this, and this is where I want to make my point: Fathers play a larger part in their child's development and their family dynamics than most people would think.
According to Harvard University, the very first line that they state in their passage is "Both parents are very important." I agree with this 100%. I study Early Childhood Development, and having both parents involved in their child's life is so very crucial. The parent's teaching, raising, playing, and nurturing styles are two completely different things; the mother is more nurturing with quite games such as singing, finger play, and teaching activities. The father would be more involved in active play, such as running around and throwing their child into the air.
The second thing that I would like to point out from this article from Harvard, is that fathers can have such an impact on their children, and their self esteems. The article stated that "When children become parents, they look to their parents as to what the should and should not do." How these young children are going to parent when they are older, is going to influenced how their parent's raised them.
The third thing that I would like to talk about, is the influences of father's on their daughters. There have been studies that have shown what an influence of a father on her daughter he can have. Harvard says that "young girls in particular ... [can have and huge impact from their father's when it comes to] their self-esteem and how they grow into women." Young women who don't have a good relationship with their father have a lower sell-esteem, and will actually have relationship troubles later in their life.
Well, what about their sons? What influences do fathers have on them? That is the fourth point I want to bring up. When sons have a father in their lives, there are lower amounts of sporadic and harmful behavior such as crime rates, prison time, and even abuse.
The last point I want to bring up is honestly probably the most important point to me. This is the relationship between the Father and the Mother, and how it can affect children. Harvard said that "the more positive the relationship is, the more children will see and understand what a working romantic and working collaborative relationship looks like. When parents work as a well-functioning team, children learn how to work things out." I agree with thing because it really is true. Even when a child sees their parents sitting next to each other, the child physically relaxes because they see that their parents love each other.
I know that all of these points are true, because I know that I have had the influence of an amazing father in my life. Because I was fortunate enough to have parents who love each other, I was able to develop a sturdy self-esteem and knew what I wanted in a future husband. The example my father and mother modeled in their relationship, allowed me to know that I wanted a relationship that was exactly like that.
Because of these things that I have been fortunate enough to experience, I have been able to really ponder what I want in my future, and what I want for my children. My fiance and I have already talked a little bit about what we want for our future children, and that is 1. to make sure that I would be able to stay at home with them, and 2. to make sure that we really strive to have a meaningful and loving relationship with each other, but also with each of our children. I am not sure how we are going to achieve this, but I know that all we can do is to do our best, and go off of what we know to be best. We are not perfect, but we will strive to do the best that we can!
Sources
https://www.extension.harvard.edu/inside-extension/role-fathers-childhood-development
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