Back in the days, (I'm guessing about 20-30 years ago at a minimum), there was a specific way that the dating process panned out. This process would evolve over a period of about a year or so, (maybe more, maybe less), and would occur in these specific set of steps:
Dating
Courting
Engagement
Marriage
Seems reasonable right? I agree. I think that it is good to date people, and to get a feel for what you want in your future spouse. I agree that dating should be fun, with many different activities where you can get to know the person that you are interested in. However, the dating process that you see above was "back in the days", and is not the same as the dating process today. Today's culture is very different, and the chart goes a little something like this:
Dating
Engagement
Marriage
Obviously something is very different compared to the chart above. Courting is now considered "redundant" or "a waste of time". I can neither deny nor agree with that. I am not bothered by the fact that courting is not a thing anymore, and on the flip side I am not overly concerned about bringing it back. Why? Because I think, and firmly believe, that a relationship can survive without going through the step of "courting".
The dating trend that is occurring now, is where people will start dating someone exclusively while they barely know the person. Another increasing trend, (one that I would like to go more in depth with), is the fact that couple who are dating will "decide to get married", "pick a wedding date", and "schedule the temple/venue" before they get engaged.
I believe that they have changed because 1. not only are there more and more dangers out there in this world but 2., we have been given gifts here on this Earth help us to find those dangers. Let me elaborate.
For the dangers that I mentioned, there is an increasing problem of pornography all throughout the world. If a couple wants to get married, then they can talk through all of the problems and addictions that they as individuals have, and if they wish, they can get it all taken care of, (as much as the couple determines appropriate), before they get married.
The 2nd thing that I mentioned was gifts that we have here on Earth. I believe that we as humans are more cautious than we have ever been; (because of the reason above, I think we do have every reason to be cautious.) We are also seeing an increase in cases of anxiety throughout the world and I believe that is because we need to be very cautious when moving into the idea marriage. Anxiety for the most part is annoying, a pain in the butt, and can be seriously disabling. However, it can also be a strength for finding those who we choose to be with.
That raises another question that I have: do you think that it is wrong for a couple to decide to work towards marriage? Do you think that it is wrong when a couple ends up deciding on getting married and actually start to plan and schedule their wedding? Actually, here is a better question: Do you think that if a couple doesn't follow the steps of dating, then courting, then getting engaged, and then getting married exclusively in that order that they will end up getting a divorce? Hmm... I'll let you think on that for a minuet.
This may have seemed like a very loud and opinionated post, and you are right. I had a lot of hard and intense feelings while I was both sitting in class and writing this article. I had these feelings because I didn't agree with them. I don't agree with the fact that everything was pointing to failure when it comes to dating. There are so many exceptions, and there definitely isn't one "specific" way to date. I know a wide range of amazing people who have very successful marriages, and a pretty uncommon dating experience with their current spouse.
If you want to make your marriage work, then you will be able to make it work; regardless of your dating experience with that person.
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